Archive for June, 2010

I pulled on my long dirty beard and grinned. Today would be a bright day indeed. I stretched and noticed that the rubbish had seemed to multiply around me. I began to grabble about in the trash; looking for my morning meal.

Awwhhh Hawww! Steak… Jack pot.

Sighing contentedly I sat down and began to eat the delicious banquet the fates had provided for me. It was medium rare and (if I was not mistaken) there was a bit of garlic mash left on the tip. The steak deliquesced in my mouth. I was a lucky man indeed. After I had properly enjoyed my breakfast; I let out a sound of appreciation that would make even a German blush. Chuckling, I grabbed my pack and headed out.
I loved a few things about morning. The first was that breakfast was the most important meal of the day. The second is that 5:00 a.m. was the best time to greet the day. I walked along the quiet streets whistling merrily. I stopped amid my merry tune as I spotted a cat. Grinning wickedly, I lunged forward, foot catching the cat in the middle of its belly; watching with pleasure as it landed in the large dumpster in front of me. Amelioration had indeed, occurred, since my last attempt.

Humming, I moved onward in my expedition. Soon, I found myself to be walking down the sidewalk of a fine gated community. I planted my hands on my hips and let out a low whistle as I took in the extravagance. Shaking my head I walked a bit further and came upon an abandoned mousquetaire. Winding it up like it was a wet towel…


I chuckled and stuck the fancy article in my pack; this thing was sure to come in handy at some point.
Singing a merry tune I walked a tad further. A brilliant idea came to me the moment I spotted a house that was not gated. What good fortune! Phonology would be key for what I was about to do. In a phlegmatic manner I worked my nose and throat in unison until I had what I needed. Closing my right eye and holding up my left thumb; I let my bullet fly. ‘DING DING DING’… the small tinkling bell went off.

My journey continued all day and into the evening until I came upon a new tumular of rubbish. Smiling to myself I made camp there that night. I laid flat on my back until the stars came out that evening. Suddenly I felt something crawling up my arm. Lifting my arm I saw a small brown spider with a violin shaped design on its back. I froze and was about to swat it away when I felt the bite and then another from the same specimen on my other arm and my leg and my…. The night sky swirled in and out of focus…


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Oceans and their blue vastness

Spreads before me Growing Larger.

Fear envelops me,

The winds howl, mocking me.

Waves came and swallowed me whole.

I was pushed and I was pulled into the dark, murky depths.


Some were large,

Some were indeed small.

They swam there and hovered here.

I was pulled on the bottom of the slimy ocean floor.

Creatures swam to and fro.

The journey was long.


My breath game out in small puffs

Little clouds of smoke


Floating and wafting upwards

Lighting up the sky.

I walked a little further and laughed aloud.

There above, in the clouds, was a man.

How long I stood guffawing

I know not.

Soon that too blew away

I carried on whistling as I made my way.


Light illuminates the path ahead.

I run down the path.

I began to grow tired;

I hear things on either side of the path.

The deluge of noise grows.

I glanced to the side.

One second was long enough and I was captivated.

I glanced again.

My footing a little less sure.

I tried to start running again.

I felt tired;

And glanced.

I stepped off the path.


As I walked into them, I forgot about the path,

The light dissipated.

The path was lost.

Darkness fell

I slept on the cold, disconcerting ground.


The man in the top hat went forward.

His serious face held no guise.

His lanky stride moved at a quickened pace.

He was not astounded as the clock struck chord.

Many rushed about him

He noticed not their stares

Never had he been one to be moved on a whim

Moving forward and not going back

Head erect, his gait showed not one care.



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The Confession

I was headed for Avia’s house. She told me she had something that she needed to talk to me about. I wondered what it was. As I approached her house I rang the doorbell and waited, feeling somewhat anxious. My anxiety only deepened as the smell of freshly baked cookies and coffee wafted out of an open window.” “Oh no… What did she do this time?” I thought. Avia only baked anytime she was upset or had a huge confession to make.

She opened the door, hugged me, and invited me in. “How’s the Hubby been lately?” I asked following her into the kitchen. “He is doing just fine! I haven’t seen much of him today because he is picking his mother up from another Betty Boop Convention.” I smiled to myself as we sat down at the table. Avia also loved Betty Boop. I knew her and Kurt were meant to be after we found out that his mother was also a huge fan. I snagged a cookie as she poured me coffee from the French press. Avia took a deep steadying breath. “The reason I asked you here today is because I have something to tell you that I should have told you years ago” She paused, her eyes pleading with me to understand. “You know how you always give me Betty Boop stuff anytime you across it?” I nodded my head, confused as to why she was bringing this up now. “Well, Lyd, I have to tell you, I really don’t like Better Boop at all…” she paused, taking a steadying breath, “I didn’t know how to tell you this till now…It’s  just that I didn’t have the heart to burst your bubble.”

Avia!” I said, “I can’t believe you never told me! I have been giving you Betty Boop stuff since we were eight years old!” I started laughing hysterically, Avia soon joined me. After the laughter had died down, Avia motioned for me to follow her. She opened up her closet and I gasped. There were all of my Betty Boop gifts throughout the years. The dolls, mugs, t-shirts, key chains, pez and bubble gum dispensers, you name it…

Betty Boop mania.

Humor glint in Avia’s eyes as she said, “Lydia, I had no idea what to do with all of it…this isn’t even half of the stuff you’ve given me.” I shook my head, in wonder… If one were to open this door, they would think she was a huge ‘closet’ fan of the curvy character. Avia’s eyes were sparkling. She leaned forward “You know, it is actually kind of a God send the last five years that I’ve had all of this stuff…”

Why is that?” I asked distractedly. ‘Where on earth did I find half of this stuff?’ I wondered to myself.

“As you know, Kurt’s mother is one of the hugest fans ever. Since we have gotten married, we have never had to go shopping for a gift for his mother. Thanks to you, Lydia Calagarese; I have my mother-in-law’s gifts covered for many years to come.”

At that moment the front door opened. It was Kurt and his mother. “Avia dear,” Kurt’s mother said “I have so much to tell you. It’s really too bad you missed such a wonderful convention…” Kurt’s mother’s voice was drowned out by the sound of our laughter.

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Number 15

I sat…waiting. No one was talking. All young girls…. Girls my age. I clasped my clammy hands together and ducked my head, squeezing my eyes tight. “Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…” My stomach was feeling queasy. If only I had listened to my parents, I wouldn’t be in this situation. My heart sank. What a fool I had been. Whispered words… stolen moments… one thing leading the next…. I found myself here.


I was completely and entirely alone. If only he had stayed; things would be different. I wouldn’t be here.  A nurse came out and called, “Number 13…” I watched as a girl hesitantly followed, steps shaky. “One more person, I was number 15… and then…” I couldn’t allow myself to complete the thought. If only there was another way… If only

A lot of good if only was doing me. A lot of good it had done me. I thought what I was doing would be enough to keep him around. I thought it would make him love me… I wanted him to stay with me forever… so much I had given everything.


Not just physically but emotionally as well. I wrapped my arms around my midsection feeling as though the wind had been knocked out of my body.

You stupid girl!” he had shouted. “You planned this so you would have a hold on me…I told you to take the necessary precautions… This is your fault. Completely and entirely YOUR fault….”I only forgot to take my pill one day… just one day…” I had sobbed. Not once had HE ever done anything for preventions sake… “THAT is exactly why you are in your situation right now… You got yourself into this, get yourself out. I am done with you.” With that… he did what he said he would never do…he walked away.

Number 14 the same nurse called out.

I shuddered as I watched a girl saunter back. I had heard her telling the girl next to her that this was her third time. It was no big deal… it only took a few minutes…then all of your ‘problems’ would be solved. I couldn’t help but noticed her eyes held no life in them.

I can’t do this…I can’t…” I was shaking. What’s other choice did I have. I couldn’t tell my parents… I couldn’t handle the looks on their faces. “It’s not even a person…just tissue…” I told myself. Even as I said it quietly, I knew it wasn’t true…

Number 15

My thoughts stopped. I felt myself rising. I wanted to run to the door… I wanted to… The nurse put her hand under my elbow… I paused and looked at her, “I don’t think I can do this…” She propelled me forward and assured me the doctor would answer all of my questions, not to worry… Sickened, I kept walking… What other choice did I have?

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Today I would go down in History. Smiling to myself I walked out into the hallway, towel slung over my shoulder. Standing in front of the mirror I flexed my long gangly arms. Though my limbs had zero resemblance to ‘The Hulk’; I had a mustache that would make Chuck Norris proud.

I tiptoed down the hall with the intentions of sneaking out the back door of my house. I didn’t want my mother knowing I hadn’t shaved. She hated my mustache. I heard her call from the upstairs. “Mike!” “Yeah Ma?” I answered. So close…

Did you shave off that unseemly mustache? You know no one EVER takes someone in a mustache seriously! AND today is school picture day!”

Yeah Ma!” I lied and then bolted out of the door. I knew she wouldn’t be happy with me but I didn’t care. I was going to be a legend.

Walking into my first period Chemistry class I sat down next to my lab partner, Lana. I accredited my good fortune of sitting next her to the mustache. She flipped her waist length, pitch black hair over her shoulder and smiled at me, causing my heart to race. “Holy Chocolate Starfish and Batman…” I thought, doing my best to play it cool.

Miss Stenzel walked in, “Class” her nasally voice crooned. “Before we start, I would like to take this moment to tickle your funny bone.”

“I would be ‘tickled’ if she never spoke again.” I whispered to Lana causing her to giggle.

The Stezel-nator pushed her large glasses up her nose and continued… “Hydrogen and Oxygen are having a drink in a bar. Gold walks in and they say, AU! Get outta here!” The class was silent, as usual. Miss Stenzel, who didn’t seem notice, threw her frizzy red head back and laughed, snorting loudly. After she had composed herself she continued, “Now Class, we are going to be conducting an experimentation today. Since the experiment is one of a very delicate nature; you will need to make sure and pay careful attention so we do not cause any unnecessary explosions.”

Lana began to measure out the substances and pour them into a beaker. We worked silently. Everything was going well until I caught a whiff of her perfume… Momentarily distracted I accidently knocked a test tube with a clear liquid substance into the beaker full of chemicals.


The room filled with smoke as we all ran out. At that moment; all the sophomores were called down to the Auditorium to get our pictures taken. I felt relieved; I could face the wrath of the Stenzel later. Right now, it was go time. On the way down I stopped in the bathroom to wash my hands. As I was washing them I glanced into the mirror and froze. The left side of my mustache was gone, as well as my left eyebrow…

“Mike Metzer” the photographer called. I sat down and gave the startled photographer my most toothy grin; thinking, “Won’t Ma be surprised.”

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What I Wanted

I smiled to myself as I threw seeds to the pigeons. A sense of pleasure filled me as I watched the golden kernels rain to the ground. Gazing around Central Park, I felt content. People stopped to watch me. I was an enigma to them. Dusk was falling and soon the park would be emptied. Throwing my last handful of sustenance to the birds, I turned on my heel and headed for my hiding spot in the trees. Naturally, people assumed an old woman arrayed in rags, lived in the Park. I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth. Turning my attention to the circular medal machine, I pressed the necessary buttons to bring me home. The device came to life; its colorful lights dancing around me.

“Ah, home sweet home.” I thought to myself as I unlocked the front door to my log cabin. Walking into the kitchen I took leftovers from last night’s dinner out of the fridge. Popping it into the microwave I headed towards my bedroom. Going down the hall I paused, looking at the framed certificates and awards I had received. My eyes fell upon two in particular. One was from The New York Times. I had written a book that was number one on their best sellers list for two straight years. The other was from the World’s Science Association. After I invented the first successful teleportation device; the world had changed.

The microwave sang out, signaling that my dinner was ready. I poured myself a glass of milk and began to eat my dinner. As I ate, I remembered the day that had changed the course of my life. I was in New York, speaking at a conference. We had had the afternoon free and I chose to go for a quick stroll through Central Park. I came across a woman in the park who was feeding the pigeons. At first I had felt nothing but pity for the poor, dirty woman in rags… and then our eyes had met. I was startled by what I saw there. She, who had nothing, was content.

Now I stood in her post. As I fed the birds I glanced up and saw a woman in a Dulce and Gabande Suite watching me. We made eye contact; at first she looked startled. Her face lit with recognition as she realized who I was. I could tell she was confused as to why I would choose to do this day after day instead of enjoying the opulence that my accomplishments afforded me. We stood like that for a few minutes. I saw myself in her. She saw herself in me; wanting what I now had. She started to walk towards me and paused. A disturbed look played across her features. She turned on her heel and walked quickly away. As I watched her retreating form I was sure of one thing; she would be back.

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A cacophony of voices encompassed me; swirling around me, causing my head to swim. Fear enveloped me and I broke out into a cold sweat. “Stop it!” I cried out, my voice echoing eerily in the woods.  Looking ahead I saw a large red bridge rising out of the fog. The voices began to crescendo. A deluge of waves and small lights; rising, falling, crashing…rising, falling, crashing…


Startled, I woke up, hitting my alarm clock. I was breathing heavily; my body was covered in sweat. “It was only a dream.” I thought, “Just a silly dream.” I put my feet on the floor and walked across my room opening the French doors that lead out to the balcony. I gazed across the expanse of sky, sand, and ocean, inhaling deeply.  Grabbing my yoga mat, I hit the start button on my CD player.  The soothing sounds of wind and stringed instruments surrounded me. “Inhale….and Exhale. Inhale….and Exhale…” The tension left my body with each exhalation.

A half an hour later, I turned on the shower. Norah Jones voice eased from the aquatic speakers.  The water poured from the ceiling, washing over me as Norah crooned, “While the seasons will undo your soul, Time forgives us and it takes control. We separate our things to put us back together…” When the chorus came I began to sing along with Norah, “We’re light as a feather. Heavy as the weather, it was raining stones. Put our hands together to applaud or pray.”

Driving down the Oregon freeway I focused on the road ahead of me. I was contemplating going to Starbucks in order to procure a coffee. My contemplation was cut short. The semi next to me was drifting over into my lane. Feeling panicked I began to drive closer to the shoulder. I looked over at the man in the truck and screamed. He appeared to be passed out at the wheel. Looking ahead I saw a large turn in the road. The semi truck was going slightly faster then I and shot straight out, landing in the ocean. I jerked my steering wheel in an effort to avoid the trucker’s fate; causing the car to fly in the air.

Opening my eyes I looked around me. I was surrounded by dark, menacing trees. Climbing out of my car I gazed up, trying to see the sky… I felt a sticky wetness running down my face. Touching my fingers to it, I realized it was blood. Light headedness and nausea overtook me.

I breathed deeply and tried to overcome the sensations that were assaulting me. As I sunk down at the base of a large tree, tears slipped out of my closed eyes. I drew my knees up to my chest, resting my head them.

The wind rustled through the leaves. Suddenly, a chorus of voices began to whisper my name… “Andy…Andy … Andy”

My eyes popped open and I looked around the dark words. No one was there. The whispering stilled and all was silent again. I rose carefully and made my way back to my car. When I reached the area where it had been, nothing was there. I felt panic rise in my chest, my heart in my throat. The wind and whispering started again.

Hello?” I called out. “Is anybody there? Who are you? How do you know my name?” Fear choked my voice. The whispering grew louder while the forest grew darker. I swallowed convulsively. “This can’t be happening to me…” I thought. Lights began to float towards me from between the trees. Terror filled my being and I broke into a run, tripping and falling to the ground. Scrambling to bring myself a-right, I glanced back. The lights, the voices… both were coming closer. “Andy…Andy…Andy…” they droned, on and on. With a cry I got back up and began to run. The deeper I ran into the woods the more confused I became. My sides were heaving and sweat was pouring down my body. A sob rent from my chest, “Oh God, their getting closer!” I thought. I saw a large red bridge looming ahead of me in the midst of the fog. I somehow knew that if I could just get across it, all would be well. The voices grew louder the closer I got to the bridge. “Andy…Andy…Andy!” they called to me. My foot hit the bridge…

Though my eyes were closed, I could hear the rhythmic whirring and beeping of machines around me. Fighting to open my eyes, I heard my name being called again. “Andy…Andy…Andy”

Slowly opening my eyes, I realized I was in the hospital. “She’s awake!” an exultant voice said. I turned my head to the left and saw that the voice belonged to my fiancé, Jack. My mother, father, and two brothers rushed over to me. “What happened?” I asked weakly, looking at my mother. She hesitated before speaking. “Sweetie, you were in a very bad car accident. You hit your head and have been in a coma for…” her voice trailed off as she looked at my father… Taking a deep breath, tears filling his eyes, he continued. “You’ve been in a coma for three months now honey.  The doctors weren’t sure if you were ever going to wake up.” All I could do was stare at him; a strange numbness settling over my body. Jack began to stroke my tangled black curls. “After your car crashed into the woods, you must have gotten out of your car and wandered into the trees. It took them hours to locate you. They found you in the middle of the night; passed out by the old red bridge.”

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